Calling for help is not as easy as it sounds
I am sure all of you have seen the warnings to stay indoors and to stay safe. Being quarantined has been tough. Along with the warnings to keep our distance, there has been notices encouraging all of us to take care of our mental health and if we need help, just call someone.
It sounds so easy. Feeling sad or depressed because of the pandemic, reach out and call someone.
If only it was that easy.
Asking for help is hard. It is very hard.
I am not talking about the physical act of calling or reaching out. Making the phone call or making the text is the simple part. What happens before making the call is the hard part.
Let me explain.
I attempted to end my life two years ago. It was not my first attempt. In the aftermath of that attempt, I wrote about it. As I let people know what happened, several people asked me, “Why didn’t you call?” At the time I didn’t have a suitable reply.
After thinking about it for a while, I have a response to that question.
I didn’t call because I couldn’t.
I didn’t have the energy to make that call.
I didn’t have the words to describe my experience.
I didn’t care enough about myself to make that call.
When I am so depressed that I want to die, I don’t have the energy to do anything. Putting on a pair of socks took all the energy I had. Interacting with other people was painful for me. When I am really depressed, being around other people scares the shit out of me and it takes a lot out of me.
Making the call is scary as hell. Telling someone that you want to die is a scary thing to admit to yourself, let alone a friend or a stranger.
So, there is my reply to the question, “Why didn’t you call?”.
Making the call is not as simple as it sounds. If we could just accept the fact that reaching out for help is hard, maybe we can make it easier by recognizing how hard it is.
Being human is hard enough at the best of times. We all have challenges and struggles. We all have those days when we would rather stay in bed. We all have those days when we want the world to go away. We all have those times when we wish someone would say, I know it is hard.
I think we need to be heard and recognized when we are struggling. As hard as it is to say, it is comforting when someone else sees that we are struggling and asks, “Are you OK?”.
If you are thinking about someone that you have not heard from in a while, call them.
It may be the best call that person gets that day.
